Thursday, February 27, 2020

"Hello, My Name is Single" by Adriane Dorr Heins

Let's be clear:  I am not single.  I didn't suddenly ditch Cowboy and not tell you about it.  But I wanted to read this book anyway because I do have friends who are single, and I'd like to be a better friend to them.  I thought this book might give me some insight into the particular struggles that Christian singles face, struggles I haven't had to deal with for almost two decades, that I might be forgetting.

I was right.  This book is VERY insightful.  And funny.  And helpful.  I mean, it was helpful to me, giving me ideas and reminders on what my unmarried friends might need from me.  I think it would also be really helpful and encouraging for Christians who ARE single too.  Your mileage may vary, of course.

The subtitle of this book is (How I Learned to Ignore the World's Expectations and Trust God), and that's very much what Heins focuses on here.  It talks a lot about the expectations and demands and ideas of the world concerning singles, and then it zeroes in on ways to trust God and get past what the world is telling you.

Heins never falls into the "just pray more and God will send you a spouse" trap.  She talks about that trap and exposes it for the nonsense it is.  She also talks at length about those who are blessed with the gift of celibacy and are truly happy to be unmarried.  But much of the book is meant for people who are not currently married, but wish they were.  And she also speaks to people like me who know singles, or who have single people in their congregation, and gives suggestions on how to be a good friend to a single person even if you're not currently single yourself.

(Random fun note: Adriane Dorr Heins' dad and my dad grew up together and are still friends.  I've never met her, but I think that's really fun.  It's a small Lutheran world!)

Particularly Good Bits:

What the Lord has to give you isn't dependent on your attitude or your emotions.  He will provide you with the comfort and the peace you need, no matter your mood.  He is faithful.  He cares about you (p. 106-07).

Instead of waiting for some magical moment to kick-start your life, you can -- get this -- go ahead and live boldly right now (p. 152).

If This was a Movie, I Would Rate It:  PG-16 for frank, non-explicit discussions of sexual matters such as pornography and casual sex.

This is my 7th book read for #TheUnreadShelfProject2020.


  1. Okay. CLEARLY I need to read this.

    1. Katie, I would love to hear what you think of it when you've finished it!

    2. Yes indeed! :D I'll be sure to share my thoughts!!

  2. I am certainly intrigued! I love that last quote. SO TRUE. I am still in process of holding tight to that in my own life, to be willing to live boldly and how we should be doing so always, whether single or married...

    1. Kara, that quote reeeeeeally resonated with me too. I tend to put stuff off a lot. "When I lose ten pounds, I'll do XYZ." "When my kids are older, I'll do XYZ." "When I have more free time, I'll do XYZ." Stagnation is bad, but I have a hard time remembering that.

      Let me know what you think of the book if you should read it!


What do you think?

Comments on old posts are always welcome!

(Rudeness and vulgar language will not be tolerated.)